Did you know that I was tied to my family’s agreements and expectations of me? I knew this most of my life, and I didn’t like the feeling. I was a Pastor’s kid youngest and only girl. With ALOT of expectations, false imagery, wounds from other people’s fears and misperceptions and I absorbed all of it as my identity 🤕🤒🥴.
There was love there, and there was ALOT OF fear present and underneath the surface!
We were that black family who could sing well and went to church every Sunday. Everyone on the block knew us. My oldest brother was in and out of prison, which made my parents very sad, especially my mother! When he would serve his time and come back home, he and my mother were always at odds. The tension was always high!
My other two brothers,( yes I’m the youngest of four) made mistakes here and there, but it didn’t matter, because my parents were already inflamed from the trauma they’d experience from my oldest brother, so it didn’t matter what they did. They came from a fearful pessimistic perspective. It didn’t matter how little the mistake was. It seemed as though my parents always measured their mistakes from my oldest brother’s past.
I found overtime that my parents also carried past wounds that they never healed from. Then there’s me! ☺️🥰
I remember feeling the energy of trying to juggle it all. I tried to prove to my parents that I wasn’t going to be like my oldest brother and his past mistakes. Some how it didn’t matter! My dad was stuck in hurt! My mother loved me the best way she knew how but she was still afraid. I felt all of this as a child, and I was determined 🤨 to prove my loyalty✊🏾!
I was focused on proving to them that they could trust me. It was on OVERDRIVE 🥴😩😖! To the point where I couldn’t be myself because I was tied to their agreements. Does this story relate to you? I have more that I will continue sharing in my next email. But if you were like me, and you want to know how to detach from other people’s wounds, you have to heal thyself and DETACH from it on an energetic/spiritual and psychological level. I believe we heal by both identifying and healing from the two. Take my self pace mini course. The full course is coming to you soon 😬